1. |
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"You see these birds and these palm trees? This feels like a dream.'
She looks at me with that ol' smile & says 'I know what you mean."
Hand in hand, we lay in sand, until the twilight arrives,
pray and ask another day, and thank God we're alive.
Berries and types of fruits I've never heard of are here,
she disappears and returns with tiny seashells on her ears.
We build a fire even though the night is still warm,
she says,
'We found the type of place other people would kill for,
for real, boy.'
Awake the next day, with no reason to leave, because we can swim inside the sea, float on waves, feel the breeze.
It's only been one day and I'm already at peace,
and for the first time in my life, man, my mind is at ease.
The weeks turn into months, I'm sure, but I wouldn't know.
This morning, three little birds landed and delivered a poem:
"Do not worry, for the future isn't yours to control.
As for your wife, her soul is God's, she isn't yours to console.
Life and all it's strife, do well to take it in stride.
Face the fear. Embrace it, though you feel you're breaking inside.
You're only human, but the purpose that's within you is great.
Wisdom is caution in your actions, be wise in the path you take.
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2. |
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I'm locked down in this room,
the window is open, I can jump out, but I sit and stare at the moon.
I hear the voices down the street.
I can't help but think of when we would roam through summer heat,
we were kings, indeed.
We knew not a life of peasantry.
So many faces I've forgotten, we never exchanged pleasantries.
All the stress that I've endured,
I stare in her eyes, wish I knew what she's looking for,
but I know what might find;
so caught up in your life that you dismiss the grand design,
you were planned and I was.
You miss so much, staring down at your phone.
I hear Aaliyah when I see you, (I don't want to be alone).
If you're not here, then I'm not either: leave a message at the tone.
I've gotten so lost on my own, I just really need to get home.
I don't even know where I am,
I've forgotten even...who I am,
but I"m beginning to remember...
Wake up every morning, hide, fuck if I don't feel good.
I'm no superman, I can't do what the man of steel would.
We used to be kings and then I realized we're slaves.
The money gives you freedom, you live life just to get paid,
then pay to keep on living. Don't you find that to be strange?
I remember once when I was venting in the rain,
knowing moments like this aren't presented every day,
I could feel the warmth of it, as if it meant to say,
"God is present with you within every single thing,
you need never be afraid." I could have ran, but I stayed.
If you listen for the signs,
you'll see that they always seem to occur when they're the last thing on your mind,
but clear as is the day long,
Stay strong. Hang on. They just need something to hate on,
someone to put their weight on. Don't carry their stress.
I told her, "We go with the flow, but so you know...if you really want to get married, then yes. What we want, we can project."
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3. |
All That We Fought For
01:16
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Woke up this morning, the sun is shining, the Lord is brilliant.
The problems piling, but I'm still smiling, feeling resilient.
I took the day off, I don't need any stress.
I don't need anyone bringing me down with all their messes.
Was told to bring to you this message,
everybody's counting numbers instead of counting up their blessings.
God, God, you are so good, and I pray that you will make me better,
serve you as I should.
Lord, Lord, you are so right.
Only you can bring a light unto the world after the night.
I need to spread to them this feeling.
Realizing time isn't against us, time is only revealing.
The way I feel right now, I'm about to build myself a house up on the hill right now.
It's up to you whether you help, or leave me on my own, but I'm not in this by myself. Either way, all is well.
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4. |
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I'm running out of places to go in this town.
I spin and keep going around until there's no one around.
I've been sitting in this soil by myself.
Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, but your boy is here to help.
I was ten years old, I felt my power soon would come.
I showered self, for hours knelt.
The sour plums you picked were red.
The tower built, it's how I feel, I know we're destined for the end.
Devour milk, you're satin silk,
I sat until I made a friend.
You're made up of the very best, "la creme de creme", we'll meet again.
Oh, sincerest, dearest, truly yours, what're you looking through me for?
Ask how you can help, or you can ask what you can do me for.
Fifty cents are for your thoughts, pennies aren't real to me.
Hope you say you trust me when you explain how you feel to me.
You say that you love me when I ask you how you deal with me.
You're fucking pure and innocent, I want to know how it feels to be.
I see not really everything is all that it appears to be,
and so I can not shake this fear in me.
I don't think you're hearing me, feel disconnect spiritually.
Forget all my conspiracies, the parallel, the mirror me,
the monologues from pharisees, the finer things embarrass me.
I'm better broke.
She looks at me like, "boy is that a joke?..."
No.
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5. |
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I don't believe we took a trip to the moon,
but I believe that the end is coming soon.
Look at me like I'm crazy, I know everyone does,
or look at me like I'm lazy, I know money rules us.
So if you're tired of it too, then that makes two of us,
but if you do know what I know then you know what they'll do to us.
They silence truth so the lies can thrive.
Hide your mind, because the blatant truth is behind your eyes.
Don't idolize, because tonight your idols die.
People are going to want to kill me if I believe that I can fly.
You know, sometimes I think Marley was wrong,
the herb doesn't reveal I to I, because when I am high,
I feel like I just don't belong, and I forget my purpose.
Sometimes I try to hide it when I feel like I'm worthless.
I look inside your eyes and the lies come to the surface.
I'm sick and tired of fueling my pride, it hurts, it never helps;
do what I've got to do to better myself,
bury my head into this book, leave my childish ways on the shelf;
increase knowledge and decrease self.
the real wealth.
"That's cool, it's ill, that's lit.
I heard your newest shit, man, everyone was feeling it.
That's dope. How was Cali, was it chill?
Heard you met Dr. Dre and he offered you a record deal!
You know all the money's gonna boost your sex appeal!
I told you from the jump, you're up next, my dude!
Respect! That's real!
You know I'm your brother, you're my boy.
Anyone who's talking shit, you know I'll kill that noise!
Come by later bro, yeah, you know where we're still at, boy!
I know you remember, your mind's like a steel trap, boy!"
Mad support from all these once were, "Yo, you still rap?" boys.
Please don't hit me with that ploy, because there's no point.
You won't see a red cent, blunt, or joint.
I feel like Mario, scenarios of counting up my coins in my mind,
in due time.
No telling when my prime's gonna be, guess we'll just have to wait and see.
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6. |
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Life is passing, the bowl is burning, my time is lessened:
The chronicles of a fucking kid who don't learn his lesson.
"You don't know how much He loves you,
that every day you go your way, He won't stop thinking of you.
You are not a man, you're just a child in a man's shell.
You're trying to change the fucking world? Go change your damn self.
Trying to help the world, I understand well. You mean well too."
You leave a man out by himself and see what he will do.
Either he'll survive, or he will die.
Most of the time, the latter, because we don't even try; I don't feel alive.
I only feel this pain inside,
and blame and guilt,
the shame, it kills me, I'm filthy.
Mirror, tell me these ain't my eyes.
I'm at odds with the world.
I've seen too much pain, I couldn't care less about your girl,
really, that's the truth.
I have to turn my back because that's what coldhearted bastards do,
and I admit I have been cold.
I fight the feeling, falling apart, and life spinning out of control...
or is this just me getting older?
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